Hello, I am Nadia Skye Nolan, and for the past four years I have been a stalking victim at Western New Mexico University. It feels good to put that into words.
I met him, we’ll call him Tom, I was a freshman in college. We briefly talked after class about our favorite shows, and then exchanged numbers and Facebook information so that we could communicate about class and homework. Once he had my information, he told me I was beautiful. I took the compliment and made a mental note to casually bring up that I had a boyfriend next time we spoke. I figured that would be the end of it. Within days he was calling me, texting me, and Facebooking me dozens of times a day. It was excessive. Every time I ran into him in class he would forcibly kiss my hand and hug me, ignoring my polite requests that he stop. I started telling him that I needed my space, and he needed to only contact me outside of class if it was an emergency. He stared at me blankly, never changing his behavior.
He started asking me, repeatedly, if my boyfriend and I had broken up, if my boyfriend knew how lucky he was. I soon learned that he treated all women this way. He went on to threaten a girl for spurning his advances, and follow me around campus threateningly. The first time I almost turned him in my friends talked me out of it.
“They’ll blame you.”
“Are you sure you were clear with him?”
“It’s probably more trouble than it is worth.”
For the next four years I stopped going places where I saw him. I told him, whenever he was near me, that he needed to not touch, follow, or compliment me. I had both of my parents talk to him. I had friends talk to him. He never listened; he continued to force physical contact onto me.
Finally, a few months ago, my teacher found out about the situation and urged me to turn him in. She went with me to campus police. I was convinced it would be a painful experience, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I told them his name, my name, and a few sentences about what was going on. They filled out a card, got my number, and that was the end of it. The next time he tried to contact me, I informed campus police and he was sat down and told to not contact me again. He hasn’t since.
This story may seem mundane: but it is important. The few minutes it took to deal with my stalker were infinitely easier than the four years of being stalked. I was lead to believe that the opposite would be true, and I was almost ruined by it. If you or someone you know has been stalked or harassed on campus: do not hesitate to report it. I was not the only girl he harassed, but I believe I am the only one to report him. Taking the five minutes to deal with the issue was a painless experience, and completely worth it in the end.